同性婚姻更加幸福？

Gay Marriage: Same, but Different
By TARA PARKER-POPE July 30, 2013
家庭
同性婚姻更加幸福？
TARA PARKER-POPE 2013年07月30日
During a late-night monologue, the talk show host David Letterman once asked a series of questions about gay marriage.
在一期深夜清谈节目中，脱口秀主持人戴维·莱特曼(David Letterman)曾经就同性恋婚姻提出了一系列问题。
“Who gets the bachelor party?” the comedian wondered. “Who goes downstairs in the middle of the night to check on the noise? Who forgets the anniversary? Who refuses to stop and ask for directions? And which one of you will take forever to get ready?”
这名谐星十分好奇：“在你们当中，谁来做单身派对的主角？如果半夜里听到奇怪的声响，由谁下楼去查看究竟？谁会忘记结婚周年纪念日？谁会拒绝停下来问路？还有，会是哪个人总要别人等到天荒地老才能准备就绪？”
The joke generated the expected laughs from the audience, but it was also a telling example of the effort to define [要查看本链接请先注册并登录] by comparing it with hetero***ual marriage. While there are many similarities between gay and straight marriages, a decade of social science research shows that same-*** couples have also adapted the institution in various ways.
这个笑话如预期一般收获了听众们的笑声，但它也提供了一个生动的例子，表明人们总是试图通过将[要查看本链接请先注册并登录]与异性婚姻进行比较来给这种新型婚姻关系下定义。虽然同性和异性婚姻之间存在众多相似之处，但一项为期十年的社会科学研究表明，同性恋伴侣也在以多种不同的方式改写着婚姻制度。
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Gay relationships tend to be more egalitarian, in part because same-*** couples don’t divide work along traditional gender lines. Gay couples also report less conflict and more happiness in their relationships. And because gay couples often lack the support of family members, they tend to receive social support from an extended network of friends.
同性间的恋爱关系往往更加平等，部分原因在于同性伴侣不会根据传统的性别界线来界定彼此的责任。同性伴侣还表示，他们在交往中的冲突较少，也更加幸福。此外，由于同性伴侣往往得不到家人的支持，他们倾向于从由朋友构成的延伸网络中获得社会支持。
Now that [要查看本链接请先注册并登录] have paved the way for more same-*** couples in the United States to marry, relationship researchers say there are important lessons to be learned by continuing to study both successful and unsuccessful gay marriages.
 目前美国最高法院(Supreme Court)已作出了[要查看本链接请先注册并登录]，为更多的同性恋伴侣走进婚姻殿堂铺平了道路。专门研究恋爱关系的研究人员表示，从成功和不成功的同性婚姻之中，人们可以吸取重要的经验教训。
Recently, the National Institutes of Health approved a $1 million study of gay and straight couples who have been tracked for 10 years by researchers at San Diego State University. One of the largest studies of its kind, the research began after Vermont legalized same-*** civil unions in 2000. The original study focused on nearly 1,000 couples, including same-*** couples and their hetero***ual married siblings. The inclusion of siblings allowed researchers to compare similarities and differences between gay couples and hetero***ual couples of similar ages, family and religious backgrounds.
圣迭哥州立大学(San Diego State University)的研究人员已对同性恋和异性恋伴侣进行了长达 10 年的跟踪，近日美国国立卫生研究院(National Institutes of Health)对这项研究批准了100 万美元的经费。该研究在 2000 年佛蒙特州同性民事结合合法化后启动，是此类研究中规模最大的之一。初始研究着重考察了近 1000 对伴侣，包括同性伴侣及其异性恋的已婚兄弟姐妹。将这些同胞兄弟姐妹纳入研究的目的在于，使研究人员可对年龄、家庭和宗教背景类似的同性恋伴侣和异性恋伴侣进行比较，以识别其相似性和差异。
Today, about 750 couples remain in the cohort, and the new N.I.H. study will be a 10-year follow-up to determine how the couples have fared.
目前，该队列中仍有约 750 对伴侣。这项美国国立卫生研究院的新研究将进行为期 10 年的随访，以确定这些伴侣们的后续进展如何。
“The same-*** couples who got civil unions in Vermont in 2000 will always be the longest legal gay couples in North America,” said [要查看本链接请先注册并登录], a professor of women’s studies at San Diego State University and an author of the research. “There is so much to learn by following them, but we really know very little. Most of the questions people ask me about same *** marriage, my answer is, ‘We don’t know yet.’ ”
“2000 年在佛蒙特州获得民事结合的同性伴侣将始终是北美婚史最长的合法同性恋伴侣，”该研究作者之一，圣迭戈州立大学妇女研究教授[要查看本链接请先注册并登录](Esther Rothblum)说，“我们有太多东西要从他们身上学习，而我们真正所知的东西又太少。对于人们向我提出的大多数关于同性恋婚姻的问题，我只能回答：‘目前我们还不清楚。’ ”
After the couples had been followed for three years, the first data from the research were [要查看本链接请先注册并登录], with a [要查看本链接请先注册并登录] in the journal Developmental Psychology. While the findings were illuminating, much of the research raised more questions about how gender can influence simple marital dynamics.
在对这些伴侣进行了三年随访后，该研究的第一批数据于 2004 年在[要查看本链接请先注册并登录]》(The Journal of Family Psychology)上发表，另外还有一项后续的[要查看本链接请先注册并登录]的《发展心理学》(Developmental Psychology)杂志上。虽然研究结果给人们带来了一些启示，但该研究就性别如何影响简单婚姻的动态提出了更多的问题。
One of the most notable findings was that by nearly every measure, same-*** couples reported higher levels of happiness in their relationships than straight couples. Gay couples reported far less conflict than hetero***ual couples and higher levels of intimacy. Gay couples were more likely to feel that they could confide in their partners, experience high levels of affection and be happier with their *** lives.
其中最值得注意的研究结果之一是，几乎从所有指标来看，同性伴侣在其恋爱关系中的幸福程度都要高于异性伴侣。同性伴侣更为亲密，他们报告的冲突也远远少于异性伴侣。而且，同性伴侣更容易感到自己的另一半值得信任，愿意向他们倾诉，并更可能体验到高层次的爱慕之情，其性生活也更为美满。
One reason same-*** couples may report more satisfaction and less conflict is that their relationships tend to be less defined by traditional roles. Men, gay or straight, often find it easier to communicate and share perspective with other men. Women typically find communication easier with other women.
同性伴侣报告对其恋爱生活的满意度较高且冲突较少的原因之一为，他们之间的关系较少受到传统角色定义的束缚。无论是同性恋还是异性恋，男性往往认为与其他男性的沟通较为简单，他们也更可能赞同同一观点。而女性通常也觉得更容易与其他女性交流。
“What I like to say is that if men are from Mars and women are from Venus, then it helps to have two Martians negotiating a conflict,” Dr. Rothblum said. “All things being equal, with gay couples you have two beings who have been socialized in similar ways.”
“我想说的是，如果男人来自火星，女人来自金星，那么由两个火星人来进行谈判将有助于解决冲突，”罗思布卢姆博士说，“所有的东西都是对等的，同性恋伴侣中的两个人连接受社会化的方式也彼此类似。”
Even though gay couples reported more overall happiness in their relationships, they also were more likely to break up. After three years of follow-up, the breakup rate among gay couples in the study who were not in civil unions was 9.3 percent. Gay couples in civil unions had a breakup rate of 3.8 percent, while only 2.7 percent of hetero***ual couples had split up.
尽管同性伴侣报告他们在恋爱关系中的总体幸福度较高，但他们也更容易分手。经过三年的随访，该研究中未经民事结合的同性伴侣的分手率高达 9.3%，在经过民事结合的同性伴侣中为 3.8%，而在异性伴侣中仅为 2.7%。
While that may seem like a contradiction, the finding suggests that external factors — like family pressure, children and financial commitments such as a mortgage — may play a greater role than simple happiness in the duration of hetero***ual marriages. Gay couples typically report fewer close family relationships and are less likely to have children.
虽然这看起来可能很矛盾，但这一研究结果表明，在异性婚姻的持续期间，外部因素——如家庭的压力、子女和抵押贷款等财务承诺等——发挥的作用可能要大于单纯的幸福感。同性伴侣通常报告其家庭关系不甚亲密，也不太可能有子女。
The data also indicate that legal recognition, whether it’s a civil union or a marriage, is a sort of glue that can help couples, gay or straight, sustain a long-term relationship.
研究数据还表明，法律上的认可，无论是民事结合或婚姻，都是可帮助伴侣（同性恋或异性恋）长期维持亲密关系的一种粘合剂。
“When things aren’t going well, same-*** couples may find it easier to just split up,” Dr. Rothblum said. “Now that the marriage laws are becoming more widespread, gay couples will also have to go through the legal process of breaking up.”
“在进展不够顺利时，同性伴侣很可能觉得直接分手了事更方便，”罗思布卢姆博士说，“但既然婚姻法已经越来越普遍，同性伴侣也将需要走完一定的法律程序才能分手。”
Another important lesson from the research, she noted, is that marital duration is not a good barometer of marital happiness.
此外，她指出，我们从该研究中得到的另一条重要的教益为，婚姻的持续时间并非反映婚姻幸福程度的良好晴雨表。
“Often when we talk about breaking up or divorce or unhappiness, we assume those are all the same things,” Dr. Rothblum said. “But presumably there are lots of people still married who are miserable and others who are quicker to break up. Just because hetero***ual couples stay together longer does not mean they are always happy. It may just be that there are external reasons, more societal pressures that couples face to stay together.”
“通常，当我们谈论分手、离婚或不幸福时，我们总是假设这些都是一码事，”罗思布卢姆博士说，“但想必也有很多勉力维持婚姻的人觉得生活如在地狱，或者就快要离婚。异性恋伴侣共同生活的时间较长，但单单这一点并不意味着他们一直幸福快乐，很可能，这不过是因为他们所面临的外部原因以及更多的社会压力将他们套牢了而已。”